I've returned!

   So... this little "Picture and a Paragraph" for 30 days was a fail haha. After  couple of days I realized that I didn't like logging on to the internet everyday. BUT just because I didn't document it for 30 exact does not mean I didn't get out there and change my life! I'm humbly thankful to report that I am at a good place right now. It was a rocky road and I found out some interesting things about myself. One major thing; I am naturally I private person (and yes it took me this long to realize it :) ) and I can't just bare my soul to anybody and everybody (a.k.a. the internet). So I'm  not making myself post what I don't feel comfortable posting. :) Anyways! Here are some things I did during my blogging hiatus:

Adopted my babygirl Austin!

She had been bouncing around from owner to owner for 2 years. She found her way home March 21 and now I can't imagine life without her. My sunshine♥

Road trip to Salvation Mountain in Niland California.

I've always wanted to go and finally did. It was crazy and beautiful.

Evolved in my perception of God.

I noticed that I carried a lot of views that were recycled from what others thought about God. What I have been through was profound for me...This wasn't planned whatsoever, but I threw off the reigns and went my own way for about 3 months. Then there was transition. I went from doubts and questions to enlightenment and a greater love for God and humankind. I  learned and am still learning to throw off the perceptions that aren't directly from what I personally experience, or that are not centered on the deep love and miraculous gift of being redeemed.

*I am no better or worse than my friends, my beliefs are my own and I don't push them on anyone. I simply like to share what is happening in my own life!*

still a work in progress :) Jeremiah 29:13

Adopted a Gluten-Free lifestyle.

 When I was diagnosed with an allergy to gluten (wheat, barley, rye), I was bummed. Lord knows I was very hesitant to start living a life without bread, pasteries, or my favorite, bulgur wheat. But the results and benefits are just great- I still bake pasteries and get creative in the kitchen- just not with the same flours. I feel no more exhaustion or discomfort... just amazing!

Gluten-free Crossaint recipe. When I found out the recipe for this existed, I'm pretty sure I shed a tear haha.

Among many other things, I feel that these were my top 4 achievements in 1st half of the year. I can't wait for this summer to begin... I have so many awesome things planned that I get to blog about haha. Oh blog, how I missed you so!

Day 19: Value.

"A guy may say you look good, but God says He is enthralled by your beauty (psalm45:11). A boyfriend may tell you of course "i love you", but God says i have loved you with an everlasting love, i have drawn you with loving kindness(jeremiah31:3). Even your future husband may tell you,"i'm committed to you until death but God says to you, "right now never will i leave you never will i forsake you(hebrews13:5) and that not even death can separate you from My love that is in Me (romans8:38-39), we are women of a different status, your value is in Him not from the cute boy next door" - Rebecca Drews

Day 11: Precious

"When you try to value yourself for being the best in something, you are bound to fail. Even Olympic champions are the best only for a few years. You are precious to God not because there is no one better than you, but because you are a unique creation of mind, body and spirit, - there is no one like you, - and that is exactly what makes you so indescribably precious."

Day 4: "If you fail to plan, you're planning to fail"

So thats what I did. Along with errands, a dance class, some reading and scoring an Elvis Presley Vinyl, I planned. Nothing interesting, but much needed. Can't wait to start off the weekend! Goodnight internet world!

Day 3: Au Natural

 A new outlook on the way I view food and the way I eat was born today. Along with a doctor's recommendation, I've cut out any foods with artificial flavoring, food coloring, and preservatives. Basically anything with preservatives. Now, this cuts out most processed and pre-packaged foods because they are loaded with preservatives and things ( or "ingredients") with names that I can't pronounce (I'll do a post on this topic later... its very interesting). Researching and reading up on this was enlightening and definitely woke me up to various things about what we really put in our mouths. This is NOT a diet or weight loss plan, its a way of life that will help with some symptoms of my disorder. I want my unique body and mind to be healthy, happy, satisfied, and at its potential best. Whole, fresh, natural foods, cookies and pasteries made from scratch, homemade meals... I'm not the least bit limited. Not to mention my cooking skills are about to become amazing... watch it Nigella :) I spent my free time scouring my mom's collection of Cooking Light mags and cut out about 100 meal and dessert recipes. Tomorrow I get to do it all over again (...fun...).

 Let me tell you, I was dreading going grocery shopping this afternoon but surprisingly it wasn't hard. I mean it! It took a little longer then usual and I couldn't buy some of the things I normally do. Harmless. Trader Joe's is especailly great to shop at. My lunch (above) consisted of homemade zaatar chicken, store bought baba ghanouj and tabouli. Rounded it out with some reading of The Kite Runner,  blackberries and iced sangria al fresco. The hedonist in me is loving this already. Here's to new beginnings! :)

Day 2: Mornin

 Woke up this morning feeling a little bit like P. Diddy. And also like I needed to paint something. So I dusted off my paintbrushes and opened my set of untouched oil paints. For 2 hours I sat on the living room floor with newspaper sprawled all over the place, a big coffee mug, Paul McCartney on Vinyl, and my cat Sammy Davis Jr. It was a lovely little morning :) 

Day 1: Mugshot!

     I decided that my first photo would be of me, as a sort of "beginning" or "before" picture. I know, I know... this isn't the most flattering photo as I just got home from work when I took it :) My day wasn't filled with anything extra interesting, and I didn't want it to be. Today was a canvas for me to write, scheme, organize, plan, and read for the coming days ahead of me! I bought The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People a couple weeks ago and picked it up twice. I'm now determined on not only reading it everyday but utilizing it in my daily life. Its a powerful book!

Something I got out of it today: "It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experineces become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well."
-Page 73, 7 Habits

105 Days

   What comes to my mind when I think of my upcoming 105 days is a poor college student's blog version of Eat Pray Love. Sort of. It took some discomfort and courage to post this personal chapter of my life, but I'm so excited to embark on this new journey, and hope you'll follow along with me :) Here is my (vague) story of the past 3 years.

     Life has not been easy for me. I was on the phone with a dear friend who lives in Florida the other night and before we said goodbye, he said he needed to tell me something. "You are different than when I met you... its not your appearance or the way you are, it's something else. Look at the photos from your first trip to Egypt and compare them to pictures of you last summer and even now."  Although I pretended not to know what he was talking about and asked him to explain, I knew what is was. When he said those words a chord rang through me. Someone, finally someone told me to my face what my heart has been trying to hide, what my mind has been pushing away for some time.

     As I looked through my pictures, I cried. I've been trying to ignore and cover up my affliction for quite some time now. The smile in my recent pictures doesn't seem to have the joy and spirit that a look or smile captured 3 years ago.
     The culprits: Being diagnosed with a disorder, circumstances, negative people in my life, things I couldn't control, making excuses... you name it and I've done it/ been through it. These things were constantly overlapping and sucked me dry of joy, energy, ambition, and overall zeal for my life. There's a Kings of Leon song that I always resonated with during my low points and in it he sang "I'm too young to feel this old". Man, I tear up just thinking about how dark those times were. I always wondered if anyone could see through my cover-up, or cared to. My walk with God was a rollercoaster... highs, lows, enlightenment, anger, questions, doubt... But I never let go, and he never gave up on me. My mantra was 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:" Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I believe that inwardly, I grew up and my strength was a quiet resolve to keep moving forward. As I hurt, I developed inner fight.
     Despite that now I'm picking up the pieces of a tattered personal life and trying to figure out what direction I'm going, I know that God is here with me, constant and true. That won't change.
     At the beginning of this semester there were some complications with registering for classes and I am now taking just one class- a tennis class. Its the only one I could keep for various reasons, so as of right now I basically and unitentionally have taken the semester off. I was pretty upset about it. I've been at this community college way longer than I anticipated. I look at my friends and most are in the process of graduating from universities, furthering their education/careers, traveling, and all these other amazing things. But I've recently come to realize that comparing myself to others is the #1 killer of joy in life and that my feelings/ negative outlook are not going to change the situation. I can't live a full life when I care so much of how others may or may not perceive me. So no more of that! :) 

Tomorrow, monday the 5 of March, there will be 15 weeks left in the Spring semester. To be exact, that is 105 days. I feel that God has sort of forced me into this period of rejuvination. Last semester I took off the semester to work so that I could put money towards buying a car that I so desperatley needed. Now I will use these 15 weeks to work on my life holisticlly; mind, body, soul. I realize I have an amazing opportunity in front of me. Thoreau puts my thoughts into words when he wrote "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived."

My goal for the next 105 days: I want to change some things and better some. I want to learn more of what I believe in and why. I want to get out of the box. I want to discover more of who I am. I want to heal. I want to renew my mind, body, and spirit. I want new perspectives. I want to restore the joy I had. I want to shed inhibitions and embrace change. I want to enrich my life and those around me. I want to learn, let go, explore, create, give, deepen, discover, be challenged, break free. I want to grow.

 To start things off, I'm going to document the next 30 days with a picture and a paragraph. I'll do my best to take one photograph that represents a stand-out experience from each day. And blogging these will definitely keep me accountable :)

If you're still reading, I have something to say to you: Thank you. Really. I hope you find something in my journey for yourself :)

 

exotic summer night in a cold suburban bedroom.

 laying down. lights off. eyes closed. im back there again... if only for 2 minutes.  

bliss. :)

somos flores.

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
-Emperor of China, Mulan

 

all my soul needs

Paul Lisaine

The animated and visually stunning movie, Prince of Egypt is one of my all time favorites. It has a sort of home-y, chicken soup for the soul element for me. I dislike actual chicken soup so this is as good as it got, along with cuban comfort food :) I have memories of watching it growing up and still watch it when I'm sick or having a bad day. 

Not only is it a gem of a movie for all ages, but it's a movie that evokes wonder, inspiration, and vision to a historically rich book of the Bible, Exodus. Personally, it has the power and tenacity to remind me that as a Christian, the same God who parted the seas for Moses and the Isrealites is MY God. Crazy thought!

Illustrations from the film Prince of Egypt, all by the brilliantly talented Paul Lasaine

so cute. love the last one :)

Anthem of the Day!

Feeling great this fine morning! Had my breakfast smoothie and a nice run, now off to conquer the day ;)

story of my life.

Dear Iranian Government,

What can I say when it comes to you? Absolutley NOTHING good or remotely decent. Among other things concerning you, I have been keeping up with Yousef Nadarkhani's story when he was first jailed in 2009, and upon reading this news today, it broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Totally and absolutley unethical, unmoral, and cruel. SHAME ON YOU, persecuting a man because of what he believes, while using the safety of his wife and children to coerce him into denouncing his beliefs.

This man has not harmed anyone. He wanted his children to be brought up in Christian faith and to register a building as a Church for his congregation. To you, and the people who actually see this as a justified case, tell me one thing: Which of these two people is Christian? Which is Muslim?

You are taking a precious and innocent human life into their your-called "righteous" human hands and playing God. It is out of my comprehension why you must have your dirty fingers in every pie, in everyone's natural born right to personal liberty. You believe in God and yet you don't leave the judgement of this man's soul up to God.
My prayers are for this man, his family, and the fanatical hearts of the men who run Iran... may this pastor be a shining light in a world of darkness.

This article taken from: christianpost.com

Iran Pastor Yousef Nadarkhani Likely to Remain in Jail Another Year


By Anugrah Kumar
Christian Post Contributor

An Iranian court is likely to delay its verdict in a case concerning Pastor Yousef Nadarkhani, who is facing death penalty for converting to Christianity, to allow authorities to further coerce him to convert to Islam as he remains in jail.

Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani is seen here in prison in Lakan, Iran. Nadarkhani faces execution for refusing to recant his Christian faith.
Youcef Nadarkhani's Imprisonment Condemned by Mexican SenateThe evangelical pastor’s lawyer has learned that the head of Iran’s judiciary, Ayatollah Sadegh Larijani, has asked the presiding judge over the trial, Ghazi Kashani, to delay the pending judgment and keep him in prison for another year, Present Truth Ministries said in a statement Thursday.

Nadarkhani, a 32-year-old house church leader from the Church of Iran denomination, was convicted of apostasy last year and was sentenced to death by hanging. However, the Supreme Court of Iran asked for the retrial of his case by a lower court in the city of Rasht in northern Gilan Province.

The deliberate delay is meant to let the case “slip away from international attention” even as the authorities continue to “use whatever means necessary to cause him to convert to Islam,” said Jason DeMars, the founder of the ministry that was first to report on the pastor’s arrest two years ago.

It was earlier learnt that the court in Rasht had asked Iran’s supreme leader Ali Khamenei, the highest ranking political and religious authority in Shi’a-majority Iran, to rule on whether the pastor should be put to death.

The pastor was arrested in October 2009 from Rasht for allegedly protesting Islamic instruction in schools for his children, Daniel, 9, and Yoel, 7, and after he sought to register his church. Authorities, however, later changed the charges to apostasy. He has been lodged in a prison in Lakan, about seven miles south of Rasht, since then.

Taken from:

                ____________________________________________________________
This article taken from Americanthinker.com

Imprisoned since October 2009, Yousef Nadarkhani was first accused of apostasy against Islam by the Islamic Republic of Iran. In 2010 he was found guilty "and sentenced to death ... for abandoning the Islamic faith." Yet, according to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, Article 18 includes a "provision for the right to 'have or to adopt' a religion, which has been interpreted authoritatively by the UN Human Rights committee as including the right to change one's religion." Thus, Iran is violating its own obligations. Furthermore, the Iranian constitution "sanctions Christianity as a legitimate minority faith." Clearly, however, this did not matter as the Iranian Supreme Court sought to establish that Nadarkhani was still guilty of apostasy because he has Muslim ancestry.



Nadarkhani, who "leads a 400-person house church movement, refused in court on September 25, 2011 and September 26, 2011 to recant Christianity." He had two more chances to recant on September 27, 2011 and September 28, 2011.



Jordan Sekulow of the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) has highlighted this case, as has House Speaker John Boehner, who urged "Iran's leaders to abandon this dark path, spare ... Nadarkhani's life, and grant him a full and unconditional release."



Journalist Michelle Malkin has asked the State Department several times if it would make a statement about the impending execution of Nadarkhani, and finally Secretary of State Clinton affirmed that the United States is "particularly concerned by reports that Christian pastor Yousef Nadarkhani is facing execution on charges of apostasy for refusing to recant his faith. This comes amid a harsh onslaught against followers of diverse faiths, including Zoroastrians, Sufis, and Baha'is."
The Christian Solidarity Worldwide group is urging people to send emails to the ambassador of Iran to add their voice to support Pastor Nadarkhani. FrontPage Magazine asks what the Vatican, an "internationally recognized sovereign state with full diplomatic status," is doing to assist Nadarkhani. In fact, according to author Kerry Patton, "[s]ince 2001 alone, there have been well over 2,000 innocent Christians brutally murdered by Muslims," yet "[n]ot once in any of the ... atrocities did the Vatican make a global outcry for the victims" that would "saturate international media news as they should have." Why hasn't the Vatican spoken up on behalf of this Christian minister?
And now, in a most disingenuous display of arrogance, the Iranian state media has issued a statement that Nadarkhani is facing the death sentence not for apostasy, but for rape and extortion!
This, when in fact "there's been no mention of any other charges than apostasy in trial documents." Is the Iranian government "actually leveling these new charges against [Nadarkhani, father of two] or just throwing out new accusations to try and deflect media attention"? But the fact that the state-controlled Iranian media is even acknowledging the trial means that Iranian leaders are aware of the outcry around the world. This could bode well for the pastor according to the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ), which reports that as of early Saturday October 1, 2011, the pastor was still alive.
Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/10/pastor_yousef_nadarkhani.html#ixzz1jDTIXInm

ameeeen!

insightful and exactly how I feel.

you and i.

Romans Chapter 8

Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Proverbs 24:16

"This is an amazing Bible verse about perseverance. Not only is it a great picture of never giving up, but I love the fact that Solomon, the writer of the Proverb, uses the number seven. Seven, in Biblical terms, is the number of completion. So when Solomon says “Though a righteous man falls seven times,” it could be interpreted as “Though a righteous man falls every time.” That makes this verse a perfect model for perseverance. It’s interesting too that the verse calls perseverance a character trait of righteousness. People don’t often associate perseverance with righteousness. People often associate righteousness with things like strong character, right actions, and unwavering fortitude. People don’t often get the picture of a righteous person constantly falling down."

"That’s why I love this verse about perseverance. It shows not only that righteous people fall and stumble just like everyone else, but also that perseverance is a mark of righteousness."

-Taken From: http://bibleversesabout.net/25/fall-seven-times-rise-again/

 

no joke...this is my laptop wallpaper. new year resolutions and a 4 hour math class at 6am made me do it

 If you've seen the movie "Run, Fatboy, Run", you know what this picture is all about! All through the movie, that very happy man on the yellow motorbike is constantly encouraging, guiding and watching over Simon Peg's character who's training (sometimes reluctantly) for a marathon.

 God is there. He's totally and completely for you. Who or what, then, can be against us (Romans 8:31)? Well, many things. Obstacles, people, circumstances, consequences, ourselves, governments, media, the weather, you name it. Life can be messy, scary, and difficult! However if we take into daily account the ENORMITY of an almighty God who's madly in love with us, the mercy, grace, and obedience that flows from that sets us free to live a completely full and fearless life- falls and fails included.